He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
