Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
