I like my sex mixed with concussions.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
