I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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