At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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