We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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