How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
