What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
