i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
