We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
