Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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