Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
