No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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