I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
