Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
