direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
