K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
