you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
