Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
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