I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
