Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
