someone get that fucking seahorse.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
