I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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