Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize