Sry I called you an 8
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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