Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Randomize
