i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
