dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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