exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
where am i from again
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
