i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
