I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
