God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
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