do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
