garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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