Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
