Im at strip club and am horny
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
home. puking in laundry basket.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
