i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
