Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
