Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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