I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
