All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
