I can text with my tongue
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
