how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
