if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
