She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
