He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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