I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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