see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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