I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
