Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
