she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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