Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
