i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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