real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
