Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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