jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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