Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Drake has all the answers
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
