I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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