i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize